Sunday, March 19, 2006

Infinite Crisis - yeah, so what?




It's not that serious...trust me on this.


Am I the only person who's...unimpressed with Infinite Crisis?

Sure, I'm buying each issue just like most of you are, but it's primarily for collecting status. The artwork is great (A-game, dawg), but the storyline so far has been spotty. Let's comment on some of the major IC events (including the Countdown to Infinite Crisis events) one at a time.

*DISCLAIMER* If you haven't been keeping up with IC so far, then I'm sorr, but I'm finna spoil an awful lot of it for you.

1. Maxwell Lord kills the Blue Beetle. Not cool, Ahmad. Not cool. I actually liked Ted Kord! (well, not like that, but...you know). What I don't like is...well, I'll get to that later. Also, it's gonna give Booster Gold a "Fire" complex: he's going to spend the next several decades regularly moping about his lost buddy, and I'm not sure if that baggage is going to make him a better character.

2. A big ol' mess a' OMAC robots start downloading into peoples bodies and attempting to exterminate any and all superheroes who get in their way. Would be cool...that is, if the friggin' Wachowskis hadn't've thunk it up first. Just because WB owns both The Matrix AND DC Comics does not give them permission to allow in-house biting.




*Krreeekkk!*
"OUCH! CotDAMN, heffa! What kinda chiropractor is YOU 'posed to be?!"



3. Wonder Woman kills Maxwell Lord, and everyone (especially Superman and, of all people, Batman) start hatin'. Big. Effing. Deal. Wonder Woman is supposed to be an Amazon warrior. Warriors kill when the need arises. Why is everyone so shocked that WW killed a mofo who was trying to use Supes to kill the Pre-Time King? I especially don't understand where Batman comes off finger-pointing. I know he's still carrying the baggage of his parents' deaths, but that was different. This isn't about killing an innocent. It's about getting the job done. The way that Supes and Bats are handling this, and their condescending tone towards Diana (one person I don't think it wise ot talk down to) is quickly turning their scenes in IC into daytime soap-opera pastiches. Why don't they all just fuck an' make up, like the Days of Our Lives folk do?

(As an aside, if they really wanted to piss off Supes, Batsy, and *Gary Ownes announcer voice* THE WOOORLD AT LAAARGE, they shoulda had WW slice Lord up with the sword, instead of having her do the head twist thing. They way it's drawn, it looks like she's trying to get a kink outta his neck or summin').

4. The Villians all Unite into the Legion of Do-, er, The Society. The whole thing reads like a extra-length episode of Challenge of the Superfriends. Granted, it would be an above-average episode, but every time I read a Villians United issue or crossover, I just see Hanna-Barberaishness all over it.

5. Eclipso and Spectre go on a magic-destruction rampage. Okay, this was sorta cool (primarily because of the Shadowpact and the Detective Chimp--everyone loves a talking monkey), but it created so many plot holes. Spectre killed Shazam, right? So why does the Marvel Family still have power? Who's tossin' them lightning bolts? The main benefit (besides the talking monkey): a Black man is going to be the new Spectre! How cool is that?! *crickets*

6. There's an intergalactic war betwe--you know what? Let's just skip the whole Rann-Thangar War thing, because it was lame as hell. Or maybe I'm biased (I hate space epics).




Am I the only person who had An American Tail flashbacks while reading Power Girl's sides of the story?


7. Power Girl. Power Girl! Power Girl!! All boob jokes aside, Power Girl is probably the best thing DC and IC have going for them right now. They're using a lot of this story as a showcase for her and an opportunity to restore her original origins. And it's all coming off great. Everytime Power Girls stomps, lands, or whatevers into an IC crossover-related story, I'm never disappointed (get your minds out of the gutter, ASAP).

7. Earth-2 Superman, Earth-2 Lois, Superboy-Prime, and Alexander Luthor return from their nirvana. Ah, the meat of the story. Most of the situations and scenes involving these characters are great (especially Superboy-Prime -- nuttier than Jif, Skippy, and Peter Pan combined -- fighting a good chunk of the DCU heroes). But the whole "we saved the wrong Earth--this Earth is too dark, so let’s bring back the perfect Earth" thing is waaaaay too tongue-in-cheek and wink-wink-nudge-nudge for me. And I CAN'T be the only one who feels this way.

8. Alexander Luthor was behind allll the craziness in the COuntdown to IC stories. Does it not surprise you that a Luthor, no matter what universe he's from, can't be capable of a LITTLE evil?

9. Oh look, Donna Troy's back. Yay. And Jason Todd. Huh? And...Holy Moley...KID ETERNITY?!

10. Almost forgot...I hate the new Blue Beetle. I hate his face. I hate the fact that he's like 12 or something. I also hate the fact that he looks like a woman in costume. You'd think ancient mystical powers would be a lot less gender-ambiguous when it comes to fashion design.

SO...as of right now, Infinite Crisis is rating as a great big heap of "whatever, man" to me. Granted, it's more accessible than the original Crisis on Infinite Earths (but of course, most 80's comics were on that uber-complex thing), but it's almost too transparently a marketing ploy to boost interest in DC Comics. Ah, well...I'm sure when I'm 50 I can net a cool couple of bucks for my IC-related stuffs. And that is the motivation that keeps me buying.

Except for that Rann-Thangar stuff. Screw that crap.

12 comments:

JRennoldz said...

Infinite Crisis, the build-up, OYL and 52 are that fire. DC's escapades haven't let me down yet. Hold that thought, Rann-Thanagar War was whack BUT everything else has been stellar! Stellar, I shout!

I can't front though, Seven Soldiers edges it out....barely!


Sure it is being executed so DC can make that cheddar BUT comics haven't been this exciting. Major players are returning, going banannas, fighting each other and watching their isht go to HELL; I love it!


Believe the hype!!!!!!!


PS. Marvel is getting it's collective ass kicked to Saturn.

AFKAP of Darkness said...

Spectre killed Shazam, right? So why does the Marvel Family still have power? Who's tossin' them lightning bolts?

you're our resident Whiz scholar, Nukkapedia, so maybe you can straighten me out here: in the pre-Crisis continuity, wasn't the wizard long dead anyway? so basically, they're just reverting things back to the way they were for four decades, right?

toothpick said...

more and more i'm with you. i loved the countdown hype, even dug the deaths of both kord and lord.

but yeah, each new issue of IC feels less and less exciting. i thought the fight with the two Supes was poorly executed, partly due to the "wink-winking" you talked about. did we need to have earth-2 Supes trashing the car like that? that's just glaring and takes away from what should be a monumental and emotional fight.

i'm still excited about One Year Later and 52 though. and i'm sure IC will end with a bang, just as it started.

but the middle portion is getting an Ehhh grade from me.

johns needs to leave the meta stuff to moore and morrison. he's excellent with straight superhero shit, which is what IC should have been. when he goes meta he uses a hammer.

buckshot said...

I dunno, I kinda like the wink-winking. But I tend to have a soft spot in my heart for the meta stuff, even when it *is* executed with a hammer.

Anyway, I'm not sure that the Crisis has been too broad per se, it's just more than likely too broad for any one person's taste. I might be reading it for the very things that someone else might consider to be filler. And vice versa. So, it's a universe-spanning event with a little something (and a lot of nothing) for everybody.

Except for Rann-Thanagar. Screw that crap.

buckshot said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Melanism said...

IC started out great but now it's getting annoying.

Has anyone bought a tie-in issue for Infinite Crisis and NOT felt completely ripped off afterwards?

I'm looking at your Geoff Johns and your last three worthless issues of Teen Titans, including the annual.

buckshot said...

Ripped off, used, and dirty!!!

So very, very dirty...

MR. MAJOR said...

Nah youre wrong. IC has been great! I like whats going on and I like how its progressing. Yeah I miss Ted and (good) Max. Yeah I thought the new BB was going to be a girl. Yeah I thought WW was right and BM and SM's reaction was ridiculous. But even with all that I'm really digging the series. Sorry man, some of your gripes sound contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. That and the fact you claim the only reason youre still buying it cuz it might be worth someting in the future? GTFOHWTBS. If you dont like it don't buy it, and if you're buying it just to collect it (as absurd as that is) then dont read it and bag it up.

Brandon said...

AFKAP, PRE-Crisis, the Wiz (heh) was dead, yes, but he still existed in an ethereal form (read: a ghost). That's why he lives at the Rock of Eternity.

Post-Crisis, every DC writer is confused as to whether Shazam is dead or not. Jerry Ordway's stories semed to imply that Shazam was a ghost as he was pre-Crisis (after giving Billy the Capt. marvel powers, Shazam is destined to die immediately by being crushed under a granit block). But, Ordway also gave Shazam super-powers like Cap. And every other writer since seems to handle Sazam as a tangible, eternally living type (even so, he's supposed to stay at the Rock of Eternity and nevr leave. Superman #216 was a big big BIG no-no.)

Maybe offing him in IC was their way of solving the problem Ordway created: if Shazam has super-powers and can defeat enemies himself....what does he need Cap for?

Brandon said...

And also, even tho the pre-Crisis wizard was indeed dead, he stayed at the Rock of Eternity instead of going int othe afterword (so that he could watch over Billy an' 'nem.) Billy could light a special braizer in Shazam's throne room, and it would summon his ghost. The way IC is looking, Spectre's obliterated Shazam from all planes of existence.

neo said...

So they even brought back the original cover piece photo? The art is dope though..(just felt they could've done something diff or put a slight spin or twist on things)

LOL @ your power girl comments..I admit I took a second look at her boob-age tho...cyat..never mind..

Da Black Goku said...

After issue 4 I realized this was a lot of flash and fanfare for a mediocre storyline. finding the perfect earth? please.