Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Sympathy for the Devil or Mad (Titan) Love

"Am I not Thanos?! Did I not butcher the woman who gave me birth, who force-fed me into this hell called life?! Is not the wake of my passing crimson with the blood of my enemies and allies alike?! Death is with me every second of the day! My every moment is spent in either dealing out death or worshipping it! So tell me, who under the stars is better suited than I to be Death's consort?"

You know just because he killed his own mother and tried to lay waste to half the universe doesn’t mean you don’t have anything in common with the Mad Titan, Thanos.

How many stupid things have you done to impress a girl?

Granted, odds are the girl isn’t the personification of death but c’mon.

You meet this girl. Instantly, you are attracted to her.

You HAVE to get with her.

She can sense it too. Not sense that she has these amazing feelings for you…but that you have these intense feelings for her and suddenly, she knows she won’t be paying for a movie or dinner any time soon.

You have a couple of casual conversations. You learn she has certain hobbies and things she’s really passionate about.

“You like death and nihilism? I LOVE nihilism!!! We are so alike.”

But now you’ve got to prove it.

Next thing you know you are committing genocide.

What do you think?

Yeah, she likes it but she won’t show it. She’ll let you hang around but you never feel like she’s totally sold on you.

You have friends who tell you, “Man, there are chicks out there than this one. Why are you wasting all your time on her?”

Sometimes you listen, sometimes you become mortal enemies.

"Dude, she's not worth it. There's a personification of
Horny that's always free. Not Love, HORNY!! Seriously!"

You try to become a better person. A person that she can respect. Some people learn Spanish or try to learn how to cook.

You think you’ve got her. You think this is it. But she is still unimpressed.

You’ve got to SHOW her how much you love her.

Someone talks funny about her, you get violent and you are ready to fight.

"She is not a bitch. You just don't know her like I do"

You eventually get tired of her nonplussed attitude and you try and make her jealous but when it appears she doesn’t care, it only hurts you more.

"Did you meet my new girlfriend? Don't you wish you were
sitting on my lap in a bikini? You don't. Get off me, whore!

You keep trying and trying but in the end…she’ll never love you the way you love her.

Yeah, despite the mass murder and power hungry moves and the millions of deaths at his bloody hands...

...we all know a Thanos.


buckshot said...

I went out with the living personification of Death once. It didn't work out. Much like my relationships with the living personifications of High Maintenance, Talking During Movies, and Kleptomania, respectively.

Ah, the crazy things we do for love.

GREAT post. Thanks.

toothpick said...

where was this on valentine's day?


the DC version of death is like way hotter.

Kwasi said...

Dude, you are on a roll with this.

No mention of Deadpool though?

JRennoldz said...

Marilyn Manson just shed a tear...a rosy one of love.

Damn Mel, you killed the game!

neo said...

Yup...we never listen..even when the signs scream out loud at us..*sigh*