Thursday, July 27, 2006

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Loyal readers: We interrupt your regular programming to alert you to the truth and hip you to the realness!

Bloggers and blogettes, rappers and chickenheads:

Okay, so you're feeling the blog and you crave for more of that PTP goodness right, Junior?! Don't fret, join our team on! It's real easy and FREE! That's right, Jimmy, it's FREE! Rejoice! All you have to do is go to, register after clicking on BOARDS, and you're in. Once there, mosy on over to the "Pass The Popcorn" board and join in on our huge, in-depth, chair-throwing, politically-charged, reality-checking and hilarious discussions. Buck all that distraught fanboy bullshit you get when you hit up other comic-sites; we are the only comicbook crew that is tolerant of each other and real. Don't believe, me? Fine go check for yourself, Jack! See you soon...

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Nothing Else To Say But This

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Clark, Bruce, Diana, and Rory: Thoughts on JLA #0

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As much as I enjoy making fun of Identity Crisis and its big noses, I’m a relative apologist for Brad Meltzer and Rag Morales’ earnest portrayal of DC’s heroes as a Ya-Ya Sisterhood. In Identity Crisis – even though the point of the story was to drive home the importance of secret identities – all our usually stuffy heroes run around calling each other by their real first names. Clark, Bruce, Ollie, Diana. Everyone is everyone else’s BFF. Sure, this happens in other titles as well, but the amount of namedropping that Meltzer peppered his script with was enough to make even Jayceon Terell Taylor shake his head in embarrassment.

It was a little grating sometimes, but it worked perfectly for the story. Driving home the fact that these caped and cowled titans were actual people - with names, feelings, families, insecurities and life-histories with each other - made the tragedy of death within their ranks all the more tragic. Meltzer’s interior writing style was so successful it was later used by other writers in the fantastic Countdown to Infinite Crisis #0, which as a result was chock full of insightful intimate reflections such as when we learned that everyone is in love with Diana, and also when we learned that everyone thinks Koriand'r is really fucking hot. Man, these heroes felt so damn real. *I* think Kory is really fucking hot too!

Meltzer is back now, penning the new Justice League re-launch. Post-Crisis, Meltzer’s League feels a lot like Gilmore Girls. Yeah. Justice League. It’s Gilmore Girls with less dialogue, really. It has that small-town everybody-knows-everybody sensibility, and people talk over each other and complete each other’s thoughts and sentences. Clark and Diana are Gilmore and Gilmore Girl, and Bruce is that cranky dude who runs the diner. Why Alan Heinberg isn’t on this title, I have no idea.

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As I said, I dug this approach in Identity Crisis. In the new JLA book, however, I don’t think I’ll be able to stand it for very long. Now, I’m not really up to date on the inner-workings of the JLA…but a yearly meeting between Clark, Bruce and Diana? Does this exist? Because don’t they see each other all the fucking time? I guess it’s just pencilled in as guaranteed bonding time, where they can playfully swing sticks at each other and swap novels. For real, I’m all for portraying the softer side of the Big 3 and their relationships, and I guess it’s only normal for them to have inside jokes and stuff like that…but in scenes like the one where they make fun of Guy Gardner, I just don’t feel it. It feels forced, and it reaches the point where the camaraderie between the heroes doesn’t just feel awkward, it feels downright phony. Which I’m guessing is the opposite of what Meltzer is trying to accomplish here.

And don’t get me started on this, after Clark realizes Bruce and Diana stood him up:

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I’m willing to write this book off as a weightless issue #0, not a part of the series and therefore not indicative of where the book is headed quality wise. But in the preview pages of issue #1(***), the cheese continues. I couldn’t tell if the Big 3 were choosing a new JLA or America’s Next Top Model.

Not to mention all the (hopefully) unintentionally funny close-ups of Diana’s breasts. Oh, and issue #0 had the funniest out-of-context comic quote I’ve come across in awhile: “he’ll be great. really great. like dick.”

I think the problem is that while even though Infinite Crisis made way for less brooding, less angry, depressed, dysfunctional heroes, we’re nonetheless left with an approach that still takes itself extremely seriously. And frankly, the earnest bastardry reads a lot better than the earnest we-are-one-big-happy-family stuff. At least when it’s written by Brad Meltzer, it does. Maybe Meltzer - who was so good at raping, murdering, and emotionally torturing DC’s characters - shouldn’t be the same guy to remake them into shiny happy people?

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Monday, July 10, 2006

Slanted Perspectives

Hello, True Believers. Come join me in a tour of recent Asian representations in the Big Two, yes?


Week 6 of the highly enjoyable 52 series brought on "China Syndrome", an introduction to Grant Morrison's new team of Chinese superheroes, The Great Ten. My initial reaction wasn't very enthusiastic, though hopefully that will be assuaged as the team is fleshed out more (I believe they're playing a sizable role over in Greg Rucka's Checkmate?)

For now though, I'm giving the screwface to a dude whose superpower is...well, being a Tibetan buddhist...a Tibetan buddhist who incongruously works for "the preservation of China", and also to a woman whose power is to...well, give birth to a lot of babies and send them off to fight for the country (and I'm assuming die for it as well, since she still has an active function on the team). "Mother of Champions" is a kickass name though, I'll give them that.

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Morrison's shown a strong interest in Eastern philosophy and mysticism and all that jazz, and I'm a big fan of Vimanarama, but I'm reticent to let him off the hook on hokey racial/cultural representations just because, well, he's Grant Morrison. The Great Ten might end up falling on the wrong side of hokey for me, but as I said, I'll give DC some time to hopefully flesh out the characters and develop them further from the cheesy communist-border-patrol-against-American-heroes they've been portrayed as so far.

Also from the brain of Grant Morrison comes the All New Atom, a book I've been anticipating for a long time. There's been quite a few Asian female characters in the mainstream comicverse, but, as in other forms of media, the Asian male is usually relegated to stereotypical side roles at best. The All New Atom, along with Firestorm and Batwoman, is one of DC's attempts to diversify their universe by taking less-popular characters and turning them into minorities.

Judging a book by its cover could prove disastrous in this case, as I'd say the cover for The All New Atom #1 is a failure on several fronts. Firstly, the Atom doesn't look Chinese to me, but that's highly subjective and nitpicky on my part, so I'll let that slide. Secondly, on the cover the new Atom looks damn near forty-years old, with a receding hairline, body rippling with muscles. No such character appears anywhere in the book. It's as if the cover artist had no more info other than "draw an Asian dude. Shrinking. Yeah. No. More Asian-ish. Yeah."

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The tagline reads "Size Isn't Matter!" I'm not well-versed in all-things-Atom, so if this phrase existed before this issue as some sort of catch phrase please let me know. As it stands, the phrase sticks out to me for two offensive reasons: 1) The play on the phrase "size doesn't matter", usually used in reference to men with small dicks, a nod towards a stereotype that has played a big role in the effeminization of the Asian male in pop culture; and 2) The play on words - "size" and "matter" being terms of physics - is unsuccessful, which leaves me wondering what the punchline is supposed to be about. I'm left feeling that it's not a pun or a joke, but merely a purposeful mangling of language in the vein of bad Asian "engrish". I don't see how else that phrase could be thought of as clever.

So what you end up with is an Asian dude using poor English to defend his small size. That sucks. Plus, Atom is only flexing his right arm. It just looks weird, like he's trying to take a shit but his left arm fell asleep so he can't flex it (I hate when that happens!) and he can't undo his belt because it's too high up on his chest.

The interior of the book is much better fare. John Byrne's rendition of Ryan Choi is much younger and less earnest. While I'm not a huge fan of John Byrne's recent work, it's not bad per se. As for the story, I won't get too much into plot recaps, but Simone does well; it's quirky and fast and establishes character quickly. Random quotes pop out of nowhere in relation to what Ryan is thinking, showcasing his geekiness and wealth of knowledge. I dig it.

It's the first issue so there's the requisite "first-shrink" scene. We've seen it a million times before but it's not bad. The important thing is that it's out of the way, plus it's only the first issue and Ryan has already told everyone he found Palmer's belt. It's onwards and upwards from here. I'm not quite digging the Foggy Nelson-fat-jokey-sidekick thing, but I can live with it, especially knowing that Simone is good with the quips.

There's an obvious effort to address the Asian-guys-aren't-sexual thing, with a bunch of female students following Ryan around and making ga-ga eyes at him. The problem is that so far Ryan seems pretty oblivious to the opposite sex. Even if the girls think he is hot shit, if Ryan shows no particular interest then we still have a desexualization problem. It's only the first issue though. I'll give him a couple issues of prep time, but eventually he better start getting some and not in any tee-hee passive way either.

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In other Gail Simone Asian goodness, Birds of Prey #95 saw Black Canary ending her little sabbatical in SE Asia. I love this book to death, but I'm glad that story is (more or less) done with. With Batman Begins, I got my final fill of white people going to Asia to train in mysterious fighting arts, only to then reject their inscrutable Asian masters and their unscrupulous Asian ways (kicking a bunch of Asian asses in the process). By the book's end, Black Canary pulls an Angelina Jolie on an Asian kid. Could be interesting, but child characters have the potential to get real cloying real fast. Simone does a great job of writing believable adult females, let's see how she does with little girls.


In one of the more bizarre Asian spottings in comics, Civil War Frontline #1 had a short sidestory of Spiderman reflecting on the Japanese internment camps. I have to say, I stood this story a lot more before Spiderman unmasked.

Pre-unmasking, Peter's reflection at the end, "...with great power, huh?", seemed to me a condemnation of the US government's abuse of their power. In the same panel, a Japanese father tells his daughter that they must acquiesce to the interment camps in order to help the American war effort, "because it is our duty, because we are Americans." An image of the Statue of Liberty separates the image of the family from Spiderman, and Peter's reflection seemed at the time a sad response to the Japanese man's assertion, a reflection on when power and responsibility can go wrong.

Post-unmasking though, we know that Peter is on the side of the government, so the reflection reads differently. Instead, I see him as empathsizing with the Japanese family, doing something against his personal wishes because it is what's best for the country. It's his responsibility to give up personal freedom for his government.

That's a load of bullshit to me. Politics aside (Iron Man's team still has valid arguments on their side), to use the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII as a parallel to Spiderman and Iron Man taking off their masks is ridiculous and trivializes what the internment camps meant.

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Paul Jenkin's preamble reads:

"In the interests of fairness, it can be noted that while they provided very sparse accommodation, these relocation centres had the highest live-birth rate and the lowest deathrate in wartime United States. The Japanese in the centres received free food, lodging, medical and dental care, clothing allowance, education, hospital care, and all basic necessities. The government even paid travel expenses and assisted in cases of emergency relief".

*Italics mine

OK. If that ain't a steaming pile of white-washing bullshit I don't know what is. In the interest of fairness? Even paid for travel expenses? As if you pay the bus fare when you get shipped off to jail. And oh wow, free food. Lowest death rate? Shit, I'm starting to wish I was Japanese in 1943. Those motherfuckers had it easy.

Anyways. The preamble is followed by nice poetry captions that illustrate some of the negative aspects of the Japanese "relocations". But the whole thing is bookended by that horribly apologetic introduction and by Spiderman saluting the patriotic responsibility of the Japanese Americans. The story is unnecessary and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

In more pleasant news, let's talk about my favourite Runaway, Nico. Runaway fans have been waiting and speculating over issue 18, when it is promised that yet another Runaway will be murked. Well, at the end of issue 17 Nico gets shot through the chest. I still don't think it's her that dies though, seeing as it's not yet issue 18, and I really don't think they'd off another minority character after the death of Alex.

I'm guessing someone sacrifices themselves to save her or some other magical business. Or who knows. She just might bleed slowly to death for the duration of the next issue.

I hope not though. Nico's grown to be not only my favourite Runaway, but one of my favourite recent characters overall. I love the way she's drawn and the complexity of her character. Lately she's been going around making out with a bunch of different people, male and female, and to writer Vaughn's credit, Nico doesn't come off as a floozy but as a girl who's going through shit. But the best part (and this goes for all the Runaways), is that even for a girl who's going through shit she doesn't read as a self-absorbed depressed emo kid. Which is more than I can say for half of the X-Men these days.

Nico's power is also one of my favourites. In order to summon her magical Staff of One, she has to cut herself and draw blood. I love the idea of a teen goth hero who has to cut herself in order to access her power. I got a little choked up during the story arc where Nico couldn't do it and yelled "I don't want to cut myself anymore!" Also, the staff shows up at inconvenient times, like during her time of the month, or when she brushes her teeth too hard. That's dope.

Let's hope that Nico makes it though the next issue, and that we see more characters like her in the near future.


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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Dear DC

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I stood by you during the fantastic build-up and inevitable letdown that was Infinite Crisis. I have high hopes for 52; it's been spectacular so far... One Year Later has been hit-or-miss. It's about time you face the facts though!

Step away from your collective crack pipe and fix your faces; you're fucking up!! How? You are literally letting shit slide by with ease while leaving quality titles to rot into non-existence. First, you desecrate my favorite character with a bullshit, yet hyped-up relaunch (see: The Flash). Then you went completely bat-shit insane and brought back The Monitors in the stinking fish grease stain that was Brave New World...

Now, I can go and on about all your recent missteps but I won't. You know what they are and I'm not going to waste my time clowning you, fools!


It is hands down the rawest, most innovative and consistent book in your stable. Each issue has rained genius and astoundingly brilliant individual creativity down upon the masses i.e. the minority of fans that see the light.

As far as single issues go, nothing in the past four years, is touching Darwyn Cooke's issue. And don't even get me started on Sergio's soon-to-be considered classic piece of work, Damion's perfect marriage of two highly sylistic artforms and Allred's pop culture masterpiece.. This book contains the rawness and innovation that can, and should be found in world-renowned museum exhibits.

Now, I know people aren't picking up enough copies to warrant it going on BUT if you had gotten behind it as much as you did on your bullshit (shock and awe) titles you'd have a TOP 10 book each month. You could be bathing in dollar signs like there was no tomorrow. But no, you fucked up.

So on behalf of those readers that are smart enough to recognize and embrace quality in our beloved medium that is comicbooks: I shout, "FUCK YOU!"

And shit, you're only giving Manhunter a five issue stay of execution? You muffuckas are high! I'm mad and I know I'm not alone, bastards.

Who's with me?

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